Guidance

Dear World,

These past few days have been so difficult for me. I don't want to play this game of guessing and checking any longer. I wish a divine fairy would come down from the heavens and help me, because I really don't know what to do anymore. I am sorry world but I am crazy in love with her and every second of the day it drives me literally insane. Sometimes she doesn't come home and I know she's out there and I can't do it anymore. I want my boobear back....

Sometimes I wish she was reading this so she knew how much I still want be with her. I miss us and I miss everything about her. It's not that i'm afraid of a life without her and it's not that i'm scared to move on, It's that I love her too much to give up on everything.

Jon was telling me yesterday that I need to fight for her, he may not be the most experienced in terms of relationships, but he really speaks what my heart is feeling. I want to fight for her, I want to do everything I was always supposed to do. I want to woo her all over again. What do I do though? 

Last night we spent all night hanging out, talking and singing. It felt so natural it reminded me of everything I love about us and the future I want to share with her. That was the last time I will get to see her for the next four days, she's going back to VA. I already feel miserable knowing she's not here. 

All the guys she's ever told me about and I hear about sound amazing, they are better looking than me, they are more talented, they are more unique, they sound 1000x better than I do. But the only thing I have over them is that I love her more than any of them ever could, I love her unconditionally, I know that I truly care about her for more than her physical appearance but for her well-being. I love her so much I would dedicate myself and my future to her and our happiness. I may have not always expressed these feelings to her but I will now. The only thing I have over these guys is my heart for her, I hope that enough.  

I'm having a really hard time writing this blog right now, I feel just so much agony and I don't know what can make me feel better. I have so many distractions but none of it is enough to make me forget about her. Someone please help me, i'm pleading to the world for some real guidance. Tell me what to do, how to do it. Why isn't there a YouTube tutorial on what to do. 

I wish I had my best friend back, the love of my life.