Lately I have been going through such a hard time I figured it would be good to write out all my feelings and thoughts, I hate writing on paper so what better way than to start a blog. I don't know if i'm going to share my blog or keep it a secret. Maybe share it with the people that are closest to me or something. Anyways the name of the blog stands for the four things in my life that really matter. Kaizen is Japanese for constant improving and always bettering oneself. It's first because the most important thing right now is to have the best me, the best Jansen ever, but the best Jansen doesn't have a top peak, it's an infinite height. Next is love, till recently I didn't realize how much of a hopeless romantic I really am. To me, if I was with the love of my life, I would do anything for her. I would:
- Fight off 9 Killer Sharks
- Battle an endless army of invading Genghis Khan Soldiers
- Learn to slice metal with paper
- Run a marathon of lego covered streets (no shoes)
- Dive into a swimming pool full of Jellyfish
You get the point, for my love I could conquer all my fears and challenges if I knew she was by my side. Family because that is what I want in the future, it's what I cherish now. I spent the past few days thinking back to my childhood, about how I was raised and about the people who took care of me. So let's run it back to glimpse of my childhood.
*Queue Old Timey Footage*
So when I was a little boy it was basically just me and my mom. I never had a real father figure till I was maybe 17. When I was 5, my birth father left my mom, I remember the day so vividly. I was at my great aunt Susan's house, the one I grew up in, my mom and I were standing outside in the front yard and my biological father was getting into a car with his friend. I don't remember what he said to me, but I remember him patting my head and saying goodbye. The car reversed out the driveway into the cul de sac and I ran out into the street. My dad rolled down his window and pointed to go back to my mom, and my mom came up behind me picked me up and he drove away. He moved to Hong Kong where he is now a movie director. So i'm basically the only one in my huge family to be fatherless which may sound like a tragedy but to be honest it was the biggest blessing ever. My mom was not really in my life through most of my adolescence, and I don't blame her. So my mom worked a 9-5 job everyday and while she was at work she left me with my great aunt Susan. That's where most families left their kids, except the difference was that their parents would come pick them up every night, while my mom worked to far to come get me every night. So I ended up living at my aunts house most of my life, the routine would be go to school Monday through Friday and on Saturday my mom would pick me up and we would be together on the weekend. Anyways the reason why I said that not having a father was a blessing was because it allowed me to be different than all the other kids, all my aunts and uncles took me in as their own. My uncle David basically raised me as his son and took care me all my life, my cousin Ashley's family always invited me over for sleepovers and took me out. So by not having a father I was able to be so close to everyone in my family. So from the bottom of my heart thank you for being the greatest family I could ever be apart of. Also thank you Mom for sacrificing your whole life for me, you worked all those days to have money to support me, even if it meant giving up all that time with me.
*End Old Timey Footage*
Now last I wouldn't be who or where I am today without my friends. I value my friends so much, they are the people who are there for you through thick and thin. They give you more aspects and opinions in life. My friends are truly the greatest heroes to me, they got me to where I am today. There are too many friends to speak of, so I guess i'll just do a quick list.
- Jex & Hank: Thanks for always having my back and coming over to cheer me up in an instant
- Noelle: Thanks for always being honest with me and really supporting me
- Marc: Thanks for hearing me out and always trying to be earth bound for me
- Jon: Thanks for always knowing when I need help and taking care of me
- Jason: Thanks for being someone I could really talk to and trusting me
- Alex: Thanks for being someone I know that I could always count on in the end
- Crystal: Thanks for understand and supporting my ideas and keeping me positive
- Danielle: Thanks for being someone who can help me take my mind off all the problems
- Vickie: Thanks for listening to me and giving me some real perspectives
Wow this was a long introduction post. Well I guess if you read all that you kind of understand why Kaizen, Love, Family & Friends are the most important things to me hahaha. I was going to start blogging about my feelings and crap but I guess i'll just make a new post! Till next time.
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